What's it all about?

I'm not what you'd call a "natural runner". I used to run "the mile" at sports day when I was at school, which I thought was near impossible. One year I passed out: my french teacher made me drink sugary tea. Since I left school, I do occasionally run for a train. It usually hurts.

So the joke is, I trained for the Peterborough half marathon in 2011! It's a running joke, because it goes on (and on), and also because it's about running (see what I did there?). The serious part is, I started running because my friend Heather's mum died from lung cancer last year. With your help, I raised over £1200 for Macmillan. I feel very strongly that sponsorship money should be earned. I think I did that. I may raise money again some time, and hope you might help with that too.

But I aim to laugh about it. Read on...

Thursday 4 August 2011

Half-arsed

Welcome to the insanity that I border on. On Monday, I had a splendid rest day. In the evening I went out for a curry with Keith, who was a bad influence on me, which led to a glass of wine more than necessary. (The waiters weren't any help either. I'm paranoid every time they smile at me now, although none of us mention the Lido). When I came home, I was just emailing Keith when there was a knock at the door. It was Maggie, who for some reason thought that 10pm was a good time to give me a massive sack of greengages. She informed me that a mutual friend's neighbour had a big tree, and it was brimming, and she had offered to take a bag, because she thought I could make jam out of it, and give it back to her. She honestly said that. It's only occured to me, as I'm typing this 3 nights later, that she was almost certainly the worse for a couple of glasses of wine herself. I mean, she can be demanding, but this was bordering on rude. For some reason, I took them. I'm blaming the wine.

I ate a few, and they weren't a patch on my apricots. I decided that the only time to make jam was right then. So I pitted the entire bag, put them in the preserving pot, and stewed them. I'm starting to think that there is a fine line between reducing the watery-ness and totally losing the flavour. These were very watery, and to my mind, didn't have a lot of flavour to boot. I checked online, but beyond vanilla, there weren't any decent jam recipe suggestions. I opened the cupboard, got out the ginger in syrup, and sliced up a couple of balls. That helped. Now it just tasted of ginger. I tried the freezer, found a couple of pounds of gooseberries, and chucked them in. That was better. But now it tasted of ginger and gooseberries. Still, at least it tasted of something. I didn't have enough jam sugar, so I decided to go to bed.

On Tuesday, slightly knackered after a bad night's sleep (it was very hot, and I couldn't figure out if that was because of red wine or just summer), I ploughed through emails at work. I decided that as Sal had suggested that if I wanted, I could go swimming after my half-hour slow run (we'd been going easy on me in a hope that my leg would make amends), I would run after work, which would enable me to go straight to the pool afterwards with enough time. I'd even invited Maggie for the swim. So, I had a free lunch-time! I invited Heather to lunch, but she had pre-holiday shopping to do, and didn't come. I ended up mainly just working over lunch instead, with a brief sortie to pick up a sandwich, some sugar and a load of jam jars. Around then, I realised that I didn't have my phone, and hadn't really set a time to meet Maggie. Inevitably, I ran late. Well, that wasn't the half of it, although I did. I mean, I worked late. I meant to leave the office at 5, so I could get in my half-hour run and then go swimming, but it was easily half past before I was anywhere near getting ready. I realised I had some logistics to sort out - I had cycled in, but I needed to take a pool car home for an early start the next day. No problem. Pile the sugar into the car, go home, change, pick up phone and give Maggie an update, jog to, and maybe in the vicinity of the pool, swim, pick up bicycle, go home. Brilliant.

I went to get the car, and started to drive out, poorly negotiating the exit barrier. As I reversed and pulled nearer to it, a colleague knocked on my window. "Your back wheel's flat", he told me. He was right. Not completely, but pretty damn nearly. "I might take it to the garage and pump it up" I said hopefully. He looked at me slightly disbelievingly. "You've got a journey tomorrow? Do you want to be stuck in the middle of no where with a flat?" He recommended that I take the keys back and get a different car. I left a note for Teresa to tell her that the car had a flat tire, and also needed exorcising. (She'd given me the same car to get to Oxford last week, and I'd cracked the windscreen. Long story, but that's not a telegraph wire in the photo). By the time I left, it was 6. I'd missed swimming and Maggie. I was knackered. I did see Mags when I got home though, she'd done the swim, and felt refreshed, despite my absence, so that was good.

I got home, fully intending on going running, but I also had the jam to make. I went into the garden,  remembered that I'd hung my washing out before I left for work this morning, and saw that lots more apricots were ready: I fetched a bowl, and filled it. I still had time for this run, but only just, because I had to meet Summer to help someone who is coming to Edinburgh with us with his poetry. Well, not so much his poetry as his delivery. I looked at the apricots: I didn't have time for the run now. I'd do it later. I had already warmed the greengages to try and reduce some liquid off them, and while I stirred them, I started pitting the apricots. They were sweet and lovely, and it was time to go. I grabbed some poetry books and headed out.

We had an interesting session, which started out badly when the heavens opened on Summer and I as we walked to the pub. On account of everyone who had been enjoying a quiet summer's pint in the beer garden dashing indoors, there was no quiet area left to help the would-be poet. We decided to go back to Summer's house, and I had him read out a non-rhyming poem, which I thought most closely resembled his style. It was Tich Miller, by Wendy Cope. He liked it, although interpreted it in a quite unique way. Eventually we called it a day, and I went home. I turned the 'gages back on, and finished the apricots. (Pitting them, not eating them). I shoved the jam sugar in, and put it on a low simmer. I was so tired, and there was still a light rain going on. I debated just telling Sal that the slow thirty minute run had been a breeze. Hell, I might as well throw in that the swim was refreshing as well. But how stupid is that? It's not like she's actually anything like as scary as everyone made out. When I've been too tired for runs, I've simply said that, and she's agreed that it's important to listen to your body. What's the point of fibbing? As the teachers used to say when they caught us cheating on tests, "you're only cheating yourself". Worse though, I'd also feel I was abusing Sal. I mean, she's giving up her time to sort me out. The least thing I can do is do the training. I like to leave not running as the last resort. Also, I left my bike outside the passport office.

I got garmined up, shoes on, and slipped out the front door, waiting in the darkness for the garmin to find the satellites. What it mainly found was that it was almost out of charge. Never mind. I started up the street. I know Sal worries about where I run, so if she finds out when I run, she'll probably go spare. I shall have to sign a disclaimer for Sal saying "I did not run at night because I was scared of this lady, and I do not hold her responsible for anything that happens to me from third parties in Dogsthorpe, New England, Fletton, up the embankment, or the wider Peterborough area." Anyway, I'd sign that quite happily because I like running at night. It reminds me of that song from Guys and Dolls, "My time of day". Especially the smell of the rain-washed pavement bit. They were still being washed, when I was running. And the run, well, it was easy. My hurty leg was still giving it gyp, and I almost got knocked over on the corner at the end of Tony's road, by some girls cycling on the pavement. I got sad running past Jan and Tony's thinking of them moving away, and not having any more fun evenings at theirs. But then I got a bit worried at having left the jam on the hob. The garmin had long since died, but my watch was still going, and said I'd been away for 20 minutes. I still had to pick up the bicycle, and get that home. Hope the jam didn't stick while I was gone. I had images of Frank trapped in a burning house. I wasn't sure why he'd be trapped, but you know, it'd be typical.

I got to the bicycle, which was still there, and cycled it home through the rain, which had eased off quite a bit by now. I pushed it round the back, and as I turned the outside light on, I had a flash of a white shirt, and felt a momentary panic that someone was in the garden. Then I realised it was just a white shirt. The washing was drenched. Never mind, tomorrow's supposed to be nice too, right?

On the plus side, the jam wasn't burned, so I bottled it up, washed the preserving pan, and shoved the apricots in it, which I stewed very lightly and went to bed, feeling pleased Sal didn't know what time it was.

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