It’s a plot

OK, there’s definitely something going on. I’m increasingly getting hooked on the garmin, which is wrong on a number of levels. I think it goes back to the quasi-scientist thing, to be honest. It’s a hook that keeps me interested in the whole “as long as I’m doing this exercise, I’m also getting fitter, which is scientifically interesting” way. It reminds me of back in the day when I was a student at Edinburgh, and they wanted some lab rats (volunteers) for an experiment on lactic acid in muscles before and after exercise. I really wanted to volunteer, but they specifically said “please don’t use this as an excuse to keep your new year’s resolution of getting fit, it’s very important that we have people who already are fit, to monitor the lactic acid in the muscles. If you aren’t used to exercise then this will change over time, which will bugger up our experiment”. So I didn’t volunteer, but all this time I’ve wondered how it would have changed the lactic acid levels before and after exercise. It was very narrow-minded of them not to run a third sample of unfit but getting fitter people. Mind you, half of us would have dropped out by the second week.

Anyway, back to the dastardly plot. So, I still haven’t got any heart rates from pace training. You remember the pace training, right? I didn’t do any last week because of the muscle tear (in hindsight, probably would have been worth skipping it this week too). It’s the one where I do a warm-up, then do 4 minutes fast (9 m/m) then 2 minutes jogging, and repeat that 4 times. Sal said she hadn’t increased it yet, because of the muscle tear. I’m not yet sure whether increasing it means the time I run fast for, or the speed I run fast at, so I am waiting with nervous energy to find out. I suspect the former, because Dave made a passing comment about doing pace training at race speed. This made me worried. Very, very worried.

Obviously I packed my running things and headed into work, carefully bringing the garmin charger as well as the thing itself, as I hadn’t recharged it yet. I picked up Chris’s email inviting Natural Runners out at lunchtime and realised I didn’t have my shoes. Or my towel. I went over. “I can’t come running today, I haven’t got my shoes”. “Oh, Emma!” said Chris; “Your NEW shoes?” asked Babs, adding “you’ve still got time to go back and get them”. I’m not entirely sure what Babs’ motives are in this. She herself does not engage in activities such as running, and regards her colleagues with a good deal of amusement, tempered with loathing, when they get back from a run and don’t go straight to the shower. However, she was right, I did. And given that my plans for the evening including picking as many ripe apricots as I could and making jam, as well as packing for Scone (the place, not the inedible bun), I thought that finding time for pace training would be pushing it.

So off I went, leaving the garmin happily charging at my desk, I cycled home, picked up the forgotten gear, and arrived back at the office. Shortly afterwards, Chris walked by looking cool in his shades. I rushed to get changed, and grabbed the garmin. I turned it on as I went downstairs. Or tried to. Nothing. I tried some more. Dead garmin. I had to delay our departure while I went up to get my phone – runkeeper is an app that keeps a cursory account of your pace, but more importantly has a timer.

We had a good 20 minute warm-up, then I left Chris and set off up the side of the river to engage with some speed. The only noteworthy things today were that beyond all odds, I managed to lose count of my laps; I didn’t even notice initially, I had to tot it up in my head later, because I realised I’d gone much further than usual up the river, but hadn’t finished by the time I got back to the gate. That was because I did 5 laps instead of four. Runkeeper was being useless, and I accidentally turned it off after the third lap, and it aborted the run, which was annoying (I still got to save it, but then had to start a new “event”. I think it basically just doesn’t use as many satellites as the garmin does, so my pace varies wildly between 6.30 and 11.50, when I am supposedly maintaining a steady speed. The only other noteworthy thing was overtaking a lady in a motorised wheelchair. I was feeling quite pleased about this, until I drew up with her, and realised she was giving her grandson a ride, and they were stopping to pick mummy some flowers. I had to pause mid speedy-bit to breathlessly let her know not to pick the nice yellow one. “Why not?” she wanted to know. “It’s ragwort,” I panted at her, “poisonous”. “Oh. Thanks” she said. I wondered on my way back to the office whether if I’d said it was incredibly rare, she would have taken umbrage at the suggestion that her grandson shouldn’t be allowed to pick it, or whether she maybe thought I was exaggerating my case, and waited till I’d moved off before letting the little tyke get on with it. I didn’t feel obliged to further the public service announcement by telling her that the poison in the leaves is cumulative, and that’s why council workers only pick them with gloves on. Sometimes I wonder how people survive without botanical skills. I’m forever wondering about the choices of shrubs people plant their gardens, without even realising that a warning to their kids not to pick them would be advisable.

Anyway, that’s probably why I lost count. On the way home, I got a blister on the arch of my foot. I’m keeping in mind the John Lewis guarantee, but I’ll try different socks before I give up on the Nike Pegasus, as they have been fine so far.

On the plus side, I googled “Dead garmin forerunner 305” and got a link to a blog which told me how to reset it. According to the 40 or so comments, she has been running a public service in how to reset garmins since 2007, when she posted the note. You have to press the “mode” button and the “lap reset” button for a few seconds at the same time. It reboots the system. You won’t lose any data, although you might still have to recharge afterwards. So that was a relief. Still no heart rate data for pace training though. Just think how good I’ll be when I finally get some!